Split Second
by MovieBuffStarlet
Summary: Carole has to remind herself that her son is gone.


_A/N: I was never the biggest Finn fan (I actually loathed the Finchel relationship), but this is just too sad. It's awful that this lost, good hearted young man who was just beginning to find himself will never be a teacher. Although I hated Finchel…how awful for Rachel this must be._

_And don't even get me started on the real life tragedy of the loss of Cory Monteith and how this will impact his co-stars, family, friends and especially Lea. This is ten times worse._

_I strongly identified with Santana's guilt-ridden grief in The Quarterback because I was not always Finn-friendly myself. Outside of Finchel, I didn't mind Finn though. I liked teacher!Finn the most._

_RIP Cory Monteith and Finn Hudson. And just remember Finn fans: you have the power of creativity, imagination and words. Even though Finn Hudson is dead in canon as of 5x3, he can still live on in your hearts within the world of fanfiction. You have the power to re-write his story and to give him that happy ending if you so choose. Finn and Cory fans, I am truly sorry for your loss. _

In those blissful , drowsy first seconds of consciousness, Carole Hudson forgets her current, waking reality. She forgets that her nightmare is ongoing and happening while she is _conscious_. She forgets that her reality _is_ her nightmare. Then, the harsh truth slams into her: her son is dead. Her only child, gone at 19.

It doesn't feel real.

Carole still has a wonderful stepson, but it's not the same. She wants her real one back.

Kurt Hummel and Finn Hudson started off as polar opposites in every single way. Finn was tall, broad, muscular, had a square jawline, handsome, popular, a jock, not so much into academics aside from football. Very much a "dude" or a "bro", according to his other jock friends. He was sincere and a big kid. Kurt was tiny and petite, pale and had freckles, round faced, and adorable. He was a bullied outcast and loved fashion and musicals and was "one of the girls" by his own admission. He was intelligent and had a sharp, sarcastic wit about him. He was like a little adult. They were not blood brothers, and this was quite obvious.

Carole wasn't sure when the change with Kurt had taken place. Perhaps it was just too gradual for her to notice? But, looking up from her coffee cup one day with tear blurred vision and a grief stricken mindset, the sight she stumbled upon made her heart clench painfully. She feared she was losing her grip on reality. Had she not known better, she could've sworn she'd seen her son standing by the window.

The general features of the figure made it easy to pretend at first. Young man, tall, broad shoulders, dark hair, square jawline, Letterman jacket.

"Finn…"

The barely audible whisper left Carole's lips before the logical side of her had a chance to react. The handsome young man turned to look at her, and the illusion (along with her heart) was shattered all over again with the reminder of what she had lost. Pale skin, delicate features, piercing light colored (and pity-filled) eyes instead of sincere brown ones. No, this was not her son….not really. This was her step son. Her real son was dead.

Still, she marveled at how much Kurt had grown up over the years. No way would she have mistaken him for Finn a few years ago. He had matured nicely. Now that he was looking directly at her, she could see glaring differences between him and the memory of her late son. For one thing, Kurt was not quite as tall as Finn had been (but then again, most people were not). And even with Finn's recent weight loss in the year before his death, he had never been quite as gracefully slim as Kurt. The Letterman jacket was too big on Kurt; with the bottom of the jacket sagging past his butt and the sleeves engulfing his hands to where only the tips of his fingers were visible. It reminded Carole of a little kid playing dress up with their parents' clothing.

It's not quite right. Little details here and there are off, but it's familiar enough to trick her and to be of comfort to her for a split second. She secretly hopes that Kurt will keep that jacket on as long as possible in order to keep Finn's spirit alive.

THE END


End file.
